Goku cooks!
by demonoftheblackflames
Summary: Gojyo has a hangover...Hakkai is sick...Sanzo is just plain lazy...and Goku is...COOKING! Enjoy...not sure what to put for the rating...


DBF: Hey all! I actually wrote this a while back to give to Greg Ayers at Metrocon but I never got the chance too seeing as my friends and I missed the event. So I decided to post it up here and on deviant art. Hope ya'll like it!

"Goku this headache is unbearable! Get me some medication!" Gojyo ordered.

"Well hey no one told you to get mega drunk last night!" Goku retorted back.

"Just do it!"

Goku sighed annoyingly.

"Hey Goku" Hakkai said.

"Yeah?"

"Can I please have some cough medication?"

"Sanzo get off your lazy ass and get Gojyo some medication!" Goku ordered. Sanzo's eyes grew wide.

"Who the HELL do you think you're talking to you stupid monkey?" he took out his gun and started shooting all over the place (of course missing his friends.) Goku just ignored him. He fumbled through the cabinets and got the two medications. He threw one to Gojyo. It hit him on the head.

"Oww! Hey watch it!"

Goku handed the other one to Hakkai. Hakkai sniffled and coughed.

"Thanks Goku"

"No problem"

"Hey! I'm hungry! Someone cook!" Gojyo said.

"Hey isn't that usually Goku's line?" Hakkai questioned.

"I don't care! Sanzo cook!"

Sanzo just glared and pointed a gun at Gojyo.

"Ooh! Ooh! I'll cook!" Goku said with his hand raised while jumping up and down. Everyone just looked at each other then back at Goku.

"We'll starve"

Goku frowned.

"Hey! I'm not that bad of a cook!"

"We're not saying that Goku" Gojyo said.

"Then what are you saying?"

"We'd rather eat dirt" Sanzo replied. Goku glared.

"Oh yeah! Well I'll show you! I'll cook the best darn meal that you've ever tasted!"

"Darn…and we were so looking forward to it" Gojyo said.

"What do you mean? It's not even ready yet…"

"Well…While you're making the food…you'll be eating it too…So when it's ready there won't be anything left to eat"

Goku had an agitated look on his face.

"Hmph" Goku knew better. He was gonna show them. He was a great cook! At least a greater cook any of them could ever be! He started raiding the fridge and cabinets. "Hmmm…Let's see…this…and this…and this…and Ooh a little bit of this. When Goku was done picking out ingredients he set them all out on the counter. He took out a pot and put some water in it. Then he set the pot on the stove and turned it on in order to boil. Goku then took out a large knife. Sanzo saw this and his eyes widened.

"Goku! Don't cut yourself with that!" he was totally and completely shocked when he saw that Goku was cutting the ingredients perfectly.

"Goku! Give me a foot massage!".

"Gojyo do you mind I'm trying to cook here!"

"No I don't mind"

"Sanzo you do it"

"No"

"Sanzo can I use your fan I'm getting uncomfortably hot over here" Hakkai complained.

Sanzo just glared at Hakkai. Hakkai knew that the all mighty and powerful fan was not to messed with! How dare he ask to use it!

"Goku! Go get Hakkai a fan!"

"But I'm cooking!"

"Do it!"

Goku sighed. He left his cooking for a few seconds to get the fan.

"Here"

"Plug it in" Sanzo ordered. Goku glared at Sanzo as he plugged in the fan. Goku placed it on the highest possible outcome to piss off Sanzo. A blast of air came out at Sanzo.

"You stupid monkey! Turn it down and face it towards Hakkai!" Sanzo whacked Goku over the head with his fan.

"Nnnn…" Was all Goku said as he obeyed Sanzo. He then went back to his cooking. He looked into the pot to see that the water was starting to boil. He finished chopping up the ingredients and started putting them into the pot little by little. "Hmm…Let's see what else I can prepare while this is cooking." Goku looked around. "Ahh yes! Potatos!" he grabbed the box and prepared it. A half hour later he had things on all four burners and something cooking in the oven.

"Hey…Why doesn't it smell like something's burning?" Gojyo asked.

"Because nothing is!" Goku said proudly.

"But there is supposed to be something burning!"

"Why?"

"Because you're cooking!" Gojyo started laughing. Goku took out a pan and threw it at Gojyo. "Oww! Hey! That is **_NOT_** how you treat a sexy guy like me with a hangover!"

"I DON'T CARE!" Goku shot back.

Later:

"Okay everyone! The foods done!" Goku said as he set it out on the table.

"Goku spoon feed me!" Gojyo ordered.

"Get your perverted ass over here and spoon feed yourself!" Goku said.

Everyone gathered around the table. Practically the whole table was covered with food. The table was average sized.

"This food looks good" Hakkai said.

"A little too good" Sanzo said.

"Oh come one guys! Just try it!" Goku said anxiously. Hakkai didn't hesitate. He took some meat onto his plate, cut it up, and ate some.

"Wow Goku…This is really good!"

Goku smiled.

"Yay!"

Gojyo and Sanzo's mouths dropped open.

"Are you serious?" Gojyo said.

"Hakkai stop trying to be nice…" Sanzo said.

"Yeah the food probably sucks balls" Gojyo said.

Goku went behind Gojyo and flipped his chair over.

"AHH! WHAT THE HELL!" Gojyo flipped his chair back over. "Hey Sanzo, Ya think that if the little monkey poisoned the food Hakkai would be dead by now"

"You actually have a point there"

"Well of course I wouldn't poison **_HIS_** food…He's always nice to me!"

Sanzo and Gojyo just looked at each other.

"But then again…Why would I go out of my way to poison your food?"

Gojyo sighed. He heard his stomach rumble.

"Well…I guess it wouldn't hurt to try it" he put some food into his mouth. His eyes widened.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me!" Sanzo said. "Well…" he put some food into his mouth. He chewed and swallowed. "Well monkey…for once I think you did something right"

Goku's eyes got really big.

"R-Really?"

Sanzo ruffled Goku's hair.

"Good job monkey"

"Thanks Sanzo! Hey wait a minute! I am **_NOT_** a monkey!"

DBF: Hope ya'll found this amusing. I had fun writing it! Well please review!


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